


Microwave Safe

by mangopop



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: F/F, F/M, NSFW, Other, mentions of beej's dick on fire lmao, this is a weird fic i'm telling you now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:20:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangopop/pseuds/mangopop
Summary: Some times Beetlejuice gets bored when you're not around. He then tries to get creative.
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Reader, Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)/Reader, Beetlejuice (Beetlejuice)/You
Kudos: 47





	Microwave Safe

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a weird ass thread I made on my tumblr with other folks lmao this is a weird one folks strap in

Beetlejuice was fascinated by common household appliances some times. It's not like he hasn't been around them for years. He was just unable to touch them. He never stuck around a place long enough to see how they work. Until, of course, he holed up in the Deetz-Maitlands house. Now he also had your place to laze about as well. Which he was very delighted about. It meant he got to spend more time with his favorite breather. Though sometimes that also meant that you had to deal with his more 'creative' side when he would get bored. He would do things outside of interacting with you or the Deetz-Maitland household for sure. Though on days he had nothing going on he would think up new things to do around your place.

Some of those ideas he had would go into the strange and perverted side. Nothing too extreme, it was definitely up there. Once he filled your tub with guacamole and you thought it was for a food thing. It definitely was not, because when you were reaching your hand into the tub to see what else was in it. You were grabbed by an arm that made you yelp. He came out of the tub bare ass naked and howled with laughter. He scared the hell out of you which made him let out an awful cackle. Stupid bastard. You yelled at him and got him to clean up your tub since you did not feel like dealing with your plumbing getting destroyed. He did so after getting you absolutely filthy with guacamole when he pulled you to him to give a sloppy kiss. He just loved to mess with you. Little did you know, later after you got off work was going to be another one of those days.

You were exhausted after getting off from work. You had ordered some food for you and Beetlejuice ahead of time since he texted you earlier saying he was at your place. Lydia must've dropped him off for you. The thought of cuddling up with the handsy demon definitely was a comforting thought. You just wanted to lay with him on the couch and watch shitty TV for a while. The last text you got from him was more on the raunchier side so you were expecting he'd probably get impatient at one point and grope you after dinner. Not an unwelcome advance. Closing the door behind you after unlocking it you stepped inside.

"Hey, Beej-I'm home." You announced yourself while looking around the house. It was unusually quiet. Maybe he was setting up to scare you. You took note of bags of food that were sitting on the table. One looked like it had been dropped on the ground. He must've answered the door and scared the delivery person again. You sighed then let out a short chuckle. Walking over to the bags you made sure the food was all intact. Looked like everything was there. Thankfully no floor food.

Suddenly, the lights began to flicker. You flinched expecting it to be scare from Beetlejuice. Instead what you were greeted with was a familiar sound of the microwave humming. It was louder than usual since you could hear it all the way from the living room. You knit your brows with concern then throw your keys on the table. Hastily striding across the room, you rushed into the kitchen. What you were met with was a surreal sight. In your kitchen, with his dick in hand with a hot pocket wrapper around it was your boyfriend.

With the microwave door open.

You stayed as far back as possible while your eyes bounced from his dick that was resting halfway erect into the microwave then back up at the demon.

"Beetlejuice! What the actual fuck?!" You gawked. He finally took notice of you, his hair changing to a vibrant green with small peaks of pink and yellow peeking through some of his locks.

"Babes! There you are! While I was waiting I had an idea. You know how you always say my dick is ice cold some times? What if I just microwaved it?" He grinned then pointed down at it. You inhaled deeply through your nostrils while pinching the bridge of your nose. Your cheeks heated up while you tried to collect your thoughts to make sense of this situation.

"First off: I'm guessing you're using your powers to make the microwave run while the door is open." You stepped closer to the doorway of the kitchen while moving behind a wall. "Second: That is really dangerous to do. I know it more than likely won't affect you, however, it can probably destroy my microwave." You narrowed your eyes as he sheepishly peered back down to the microwave. "Third: Why didn't you just think of warming lube?!" You motioned at him with your hand while he clicked two and two together.

"Ohhhh. Shit, you're right. This was funnier though. Your face was priceless!" He snickered. Beetlejuice's snickering was cut short when the two of you heard strange noises coming from the microwave. You ducked behind a wall when Beetlejuice went 'oh fuck'. Sparks started coming off his dick and from random objects in the kitchen.

"TURN IT OFF!" You yelled while making sure you were all the way behind the wall. Beetlejuice yelped when he felt his dick catch fire (more so for the action than it effecting him) and with a snap of his fingers, the microwave was off. You sighed in relief that you wouldn't need to clean up your kitchen now. Giving a few seconds you looked around the corner to see Beej slapping the fire from his dick. Beetlejuice looked down at it then back up at you after waving some smoke away that was coming off it. He gave a toothy grin which only meant a bad joke was coming.

"I got a hot snack for you, babes!" Beej cackled. 

His dick was charred a bit and you couldn't help but laugh. You were definitely annoyed in the back of your mind that your microwave was probably fucked thanks to his demon magic. Yet the image of your dumb boyfriend slapping his dick while it was fire was something that would stick with you for the rest of the night.

Soon after cleaning up the mess, and giving Beej a scolding, the two of you cuddled on the couch and ate your dinner.


End file.
